Monday, June 06, 2005

Astorian Plant Killer #1

Astorian Plant Killer #1
Originally uploaded by jggrossm.
Folks, hide your geraniums. Bring your dieffenbachia back in the house. Whatever you do, hide your plants. Behold – the Astorian Plant Killer #1 is on the prowl! That’s right. Not only is there a plant killer lurking in my building, right here in Astoria, there are two of them!

They take innocent little lettuce seedlings (do you *know* how hard it is grow lettuce on a window sill? It’s freaking impossible, that’s how hard.) and – pop – toss them in the trash, with terra cotta pots and all. Why, you ask? Why? Why would someone be so cruel and evil? I have no idea, but if you find out, do let me know. Maybe my lettuce didn’t die in vain.

You can spot the Astorian Plant killer. Look for an older man and/or woman with a permanent scowl, and a thirst for perky chlorophyll, trolling the streets of Astoria for children to scare and plants to kill. This pair is mean *and* ugly. Be wary!

Stay tuned. More on the Astorian Plant Killer to come.


Charles Fat said...

Who's the psycho?

Joey said...

my super. Lucky me!

Matt said...

I know that dude. I live right across the street from him. Well, almost right across the street. Yeah, he's a nasty plant killer. And he wastes water on the hottest days. Big time.

Joey said...

His wife is even worse. Sad, but true.